Whatever you are trying to achieve, be it growing your business, becoming rich, overcoming trauma, launching a creative business, you can find plenty of motivators and influencers offering advice on social media. Often they post messages like these:

• You are being too negative, that’s why you do not succeed. 
• This is impostor syndrome speaking!
• The only limit is the sky!
• Believing you won’t succeed prevents you from succeeding.

We all have heard these wise-sounding statements and we probably have even benefited from them, from time to time, but I have to admit that I often feel uncomfortable while reading them; maybe you, like me, have thought they were cliches, empty phrases trying to sell the same truth to everyone, no matter what. Reflecting on the reason I felt that way, I realised that taking this advice too literally, could prevent talented people from analysing their own situation and experiences and in some cases stop them from learning and growing.

Every time we log on social media we are exposed to a deluge of motivational quotes that sound like the only possible truth. It’s not that they are always false, but for sure, they are not always true either. Phrases used in this way are also called thought-terminating cliches: their job is to stop critical thinking and set up in place the only possible narrative, making them the language of non-thoughts.

Just believe you are already rich, and you will become rich. Or maybe not…

Maybe you were on Instagram or at the latest guru mastermind when you heard advice like “Charge what you’re worth!”  infallibly followed only by conversations on how high we can go with our prices. It’s obvious that charging a crazy amount of money for your art or your services isn’t always a good idea and doesn’t allow you to learn and reflect on your efficiency and other important elements of a price. I even read about a money guru suggesting her followers to behave like they were already rich, inviting them to buy a new expensive bag to attract “the right universe vibes”…

Coaching is designed to avoid advice and empower the coachee to reflect and find solutions. Maybe the kind of empowerment and partnership we need to reach our goal doesn’t fit in the space of an Instagram quote. Are we really trying to develop our personal goals one mantra at a time?

A coach and her coachee need to create a strong relationship, trust and work together on a very specific situation identifying specific goals,values and picking up information that are relevant and, most of all, asking the questions that fit within the unique frame the two have created together. What we came up with during a coaching session is only applicable to the coachee because it is designed with her.

When we move beyond cheesy and standardised advice, we can create more useful and satisfying conversations. Coaching aims to be transformative, not just a quick fix.